Between the ages of 6 and 20, intelligence is measured by grades and teachers’ opinions (because parents talk to each other).
Of less importance (though not irrelevant): extracurricular projects, hobbies, and personal inclinations.
By those standards, I was pretty smart: top grades, teacher’s pet, lots of side projects, heavy reading, and a weird passion for recursion.
Out of arrogance and hearsay, I held the "intelligence" skill in very high regard.
So going to university wasn’t optional: “it’s what smart people do,” and (as one of my teachers told me), “at university you’ll find people like you!”
The real question was which degree.
During high school, I did three internships as a programmer and didn’t like them.
Incompatible libraries, CMake, and Azure weren’t part of the work I wanted.
I was looking for something more... intellectual.
At one of those internships, I met a founder who explained that in math you work on algorithms, not on implementation.
That the mathematician’s job is to use logic and prove theorems.
And that his startup used mathematics to simulate pathologies and help doctors.
It was perfect!
Mathematics was the intellectual challenge I had been looking for:
From that perspective, mathematics was the right choice.
In retrospect, I did well because I treated it like (what I believe to be) a startup project: something you love, something you believe in, something you're willing to do anything for.
I studied biomedical applications, so I also had the motivation of "helping humanity" (or was it self-deception?). It seemed like the perfect job: doing what I love and helping the world!
Not just in terms of research: I liked the idea of teaching.
I dreamed of holding a course where students come first, feedback is not ignored, and the material evolves.
(Being a professor is not the difficult part. Becoming one is.)
I thought: "If the mathematician's job is anything like studying math, it’ll be a piece of cake."
Not easy, but exciting, challenging, and satisfying.
But after a year of working as a mathematician, I discovered that it is very different...
In a mobility project I worked abroad for 6 months on my master's thesis.
After graduation, I was hired in the same office as a researcher for 6 months.
Which means my observation is not statistically significant (N=1).
VERY IMPORTANT DISCLAIMER: This is not meant as an offense to those I worked with in that office!!!
This analysis, as far as possible, concerns all the (academic) mathematicians I have interacted with.
In fact, it’s not an analysis of mathematicians themselves, but rather of the work of a mathematician, which transforms passionate students into employees.
I mean: don't hate the players, hate the game.
(And ask them why they play while you run)
I expected to find people like me: curious, eager to act, ready to help doctors with mathematics.
Instead, I found employees: trapped in a corporate system that forces them to check the right boxes on the right form.
A job that almost feels pitiful.
Forced to publish as many papers as possible.
Who split sparse results into two publications, "just lengthen the 'Methods' section."
Who collaborate with professors just to have their name on the publications.
Who start projects only thinking about the paper and how popular the topic is.
Who have their performance evaluated based on the number of publications, not citations or impact factor.
A workplace where you follow orders.
Where you just have to push for the project, because "we need to publish by this year."
Where no one knows anything about project management: "Try this: if it works, it’ll look good in the paper."
Where corrections fix previous corrections.
And then, a classism that makes everything frustrating.
People with PhDs who think they know everything.
Discussions where your opinion doesn't count unless you have a PhD.
Meetings where the only right move is the one where you agree with the boss.
This is not the science I want to work in.
This is not the science I want to support with my skills.
Mathematicians have a reputation among the other STEM fields.
They are "special kids playing with theorems," "theorists uninterested in reality," "nerds who think they're smarter."
(I consider the xkcd comics as a (not definitive) proof)
Not only that: the respect earned by advancing in academia becomes part of the academic's identity.
People are amazed when I tell them I am (was) a researcher, getting an apartment for rent is very easy, and interviews go well (sort of, see later).
I believe this is what generates the behaviors that fuel the stereotype of the snobbish academic in the ivory tower.
This image caused me problems when I looked for a new job.
After all, if I, an academic who was proud to be one just a few months ago, don’t like academics, how can they appeal to businessmen?
In companies, mathematicians are put to work doing data analysis, the "nerdy stuff" where you analyze numbers and create graphs.
In other positions, even junior ones where no experience is required, mathematicians are rejected.
To give you an idea: a couple of times I was turned down (the positions involved a training phase, and academic background mattered less), and in the same email, they offered me a position as an analyst.
I believe they didn't want academics around.
And that's (part of) the reason why I’m writing this post.
I’m not a mathematician!
I’m a math-worker!
Just like sex-workers, I want my dignity back!
In the bachelor, you only take introductory courses because in graduate school you’ll have more advanced courses.
In graduate school, you need to do a thesis that will lead you to a PhD.
During your PhD, you need to collaborate with more researchers to open up more opportunities for a postdoc.
During the postdoc, you need to maintain good relationships to secure faculty positions.
DISCLAIMER: I’m not saying you shouldn’t go to university. I’m not here to give advice. I’m just a twenty-something complaining on my blog...
The academic path is about accepting conditions for the promise of a professorship.
Which is not only a terrible promise, given the precariousness of the job, but also a terrible reward!
At the REAIM summit I spoke with a new full professor who expressed disappointment with the job for two reasons:
(Surely, there are universities where it's an amazing job. Maybe the Ivy Leagues, or some university hidden in a faraway country. But the price of finding this position, and getting it, still seems disproportionate considering the risks.)
If you want to study mathematics to become a professor or researcher, it’s a bad investment.
In terms of probability of success, cost (money + time), and the overall path.
The most important thing mathematics has given me is the rational, evidence-based, and analytical thinking.
These are not just great skills for your CV, but they also help in life.
What I can say from my experience is that whatever you choose to do, whether university or not, the most important thing is...
...don't forget why!
Don’t forget why you started something.
The rules change every hand, don't get distracted.
Many of the medical doctors I know stop doing their work because it's too bureaucratic.
In university they were passionate students who wanted to find out how the human body works.
Most researchers end up writing grants and correcting papers written by students, not doing research.
In college they were passionate students who wanted to discover how to understand the world with science.
Don’t forget why!